Maybe Nicolas Cage needs a new agent. At the least, he needs someone to better screen his potential scripts.

Since 2000, Cage has had the starring role in such memorable films as the re-make of “The Wicker Man,” “Ghost Rider,” “Next,” “The Weather Man,” “The Family Man,” “Lord of War,” “Captain Corelli’s Mandolin” and “Windtalkers.” Not an auspicious list. Sure, he’s been in a couple decent films — “Matchstick Men,” “World Trade Center” and “National Treasure” — but at some point you’ve got to start questioning his choices.

“Bangkok Dangerous,” which opened Friday, won’t help. In the film — a re-make of a 1999 film made in Thailand — Cage stars as Joe, a top-notch assassin who’s in town to complete one last assignment. Stop me if you’ve heard this before.

Working from a script re-shaped by Jason Richman, the scribe who gave the world “Swing Vote” and “Bad Company,” the Pang Brothers — Oxide Pang Chun and Danny Pang — direct the Americanized version of their popular Thai action film. But it’s not like they have much to work with.

Cage is likely the only actor in the film that will be familiar to American audiences and the story — which feels like a mash up of so many other films that preceded it in the all-important hitman with a conscience genre — leaves a lot to be desired. Let’s just say there’s a reason “Bangkok Dangerous” wasn’t screened for critics before its wide release. And judging by the paltry $7.8 million it grossed last weekend, it’s not setting the world on fire at the box office, either.

The film starts out by showing Joe in his element, committing a murder for hire and disappearing without a trace. But through a monotonous and useless voiceover, we learn that Joe is starting to have doubts about his career path. He’s lonely and he doesn’t believe in the work anymore.

He decides to take one last assignment — a challenging quadruple hit in Bangkok — then get out. Despite listing off a number of rules by which he lives, Joe doesn’t seem to be the best hitman. He makes some mistakes on jobs, doesn’t really seem to be doing anything to hide his identity and, despite knowing nothing about him, Joe takes on a local small-time hood, Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm), as his apprentice.

Later, Joe’s quest for personal connection leads him to a relationship with a deaf-mute pharmacy technician, Fon (Charlie Yeung). Surprisingly, Joe’s scenes with Fon provide some of the best dialogue of the film, which is to say pleasantly little is said.

As for the rest of the plot, if you’ve seen any films in this genre, it’s safe to say you’ll see the ending coming from a mile away.

It seems fitting that in a year that’s offered just one exceptional film so far, “The Dark Knight,” that a film like “Bangkok Dangerous” would be the only major release on the first weekend in September. Cage isn’t particularly believable in this role, and his seemingly non-committal performance doesn’t really help. Neither does the ridiculous haircut he’s saddled with.

The film is boring and the grittily filmed locations don’t do much to sell Bangkok as a tourist destination. There is little in the way of character development and the performances are tolerable at best.

In terms of plot, Richman’s script attempts a number of sub-plots, meant to provide the film and characters depth, but never follows through on them. Joe’s relationship with Fon comes together too quickly and too awkwardly, and then just like that it’s over. There is seemingly no reason for Joe to take Kong on as his apprentice, but he does.

They have a few repetitive training montages, then it fades into the background but you’re supposed to believe that Joe has formed a deep connection to his young protégé. A connection so strong he’d risk his life and all he’s worked for.

Joe’s work scenes are equally uninspiring. On one job in particular, things get totally out of hand and he makes a complete public spectacle of himself. Despite the fact he’s an American with a ridiculous haircut that likes to hang out in public in Bangkok, no authorities ever seem to find him. That stretches the bounds of believability.

Finally, the action sequences aren’t even compelling. Some of the action is gross, but none of it is well-choreographed or shot. The final sequence, featuring Joe on a one-man mission of violence, feels like a rip-off of the climactic sequence from Chow Yun-Fat’s “The Replacement Killers,” only it lacks the style, excitement and stunt work of that much, much better action film.

By the time you’ve waded through the best that “Bangkok Dangerous” has to offer, the only thing you’ll be feeling is relief that you’ll never, ever have to see it again. At least that is my plan.

“Bangkok Dangerous” has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America for violence, language and some sexuality. Enter with caution.

One star out of four.





Share on Facebook